By Hernán Casciari (Argentine correspondent for the English newspaper "El País")
I once read that Argentina is no better or worse than Spain, only younger. I liked this theory so I invented a trick to discover the age of countries based on the 'dog system. "
As children we were told that to see if a dog was young or old had to multiply your biological age by 7. In the case of countries must divide their historical age between 14 to see their human correspondence. Confused?
In this article I put some telling examples. Argentina
born in 1816 and is therefore 190 years. If you divide by 14, Argentina has 'human' about 13 years and a half, or is in the awkward age.
is rebellious, Pajero, has no memory, he answers without thinking and is full of acne (is it why they call it the breadbasket of the world?
Almost all Latin American countries are the same age and, as always in such cases, form gangs.
The gang of Mercosur are four teenagers who have a set of rock. They rehearse in a garage, make much noise and have never released an album.
Venezuela, which already has tits, is about to join them for the chorus. In fact, like most girls her age, wants to have sex, in this case with Brazil, who is 14 years and the largest member.
Mexico is also a teenager, but with indigenous ancestry. So little and laugh a harmless smoke or joint, like the rest of his friends, but chewing peyote, and coupled with the U.S., a mentally retarded man of 17, which is dedicated to attacking the hungry children 6 years old in other continents.
At the other extreme is the ancient China. If we divide its 1,200 years by 14 we get a lady of 85, conservative, smelling of cat pee, who keeps eating rice because it has-for now-to buy a denture. China has an 8 year old grandson, Taiwan, which makes life impossible.
is divorced from Japan a while ago, an old curmudgeon, that joined with the Philippines, a young girl asshole, always ready for any aberration in exchange for money.
Then are the countries that have just turned the age of majority in and out for a walk in the father's BMW. For example, Australia and Canada, countries that grew typical under Mom and Dad England France, with a strict upbringing and Concheta, and now are fools. Australia is an asshole for a little over 18 years, which makes topless and has sex with South Africa, while Canada is a gay boy emancipated at any time takes the baby Greenland to be one of those families that are fashionable alternative.
France is a separate 36-year, more slut, but very respected in the professional field. Has a son just 6 years: Monaco, which is poised to be fucking or dancer ... or both. Germany is sporadic lover, a truck driver who is married to Rich Austria, who knows he is horny, but does not care. Italy
widow long. Lives caring for San Marino and the Vatican, two sons, identical twins Catholics of Flanders. He married his second wife, Germany (did not last long: they had to Switzerland), but now wants nothing to do with men.
Italy would like to be a woman as Belgium, lawyer, independent, wearing pants and talk politics face to face with men (Belgium also fantasize sometimes know how to prepare spaghetti).
Spain is the most beautiful woman in Europe (probably France would overshadow, but loses spontaneity to use so much perfume). Anda lot of boobs and almost always drunk. Usually gets screwed by England and then makes the complaint.
Spain has children everywhere (almost all of 13 years) who live far away. She loves them, but it bothers you, when they are hungry, spend some time at home and raid the fridge.
scattered another who has children is England. Boat leaves at night, pulled the nine months pendejas and a new island appears somewhere in the world. But do not ignore it. In general, living with the mother island, but England feed them. Scotland and Ireland England's brothers who live upstairs, go through life drunk and not even play football. They are the shame of the family.
Sweden and Norway are two lesbians in nearly 40 years that are good for body, regardless of age, but do not give ball to anyone. Fuck and work, they are licensed in something. They sometimes do a trio with Holland (when they need joint), others histeriquean him to Finland, an androgynous average of 30 years, who lives alone in an unfurnished attic and spends talking on the phone with Korea.
Korea (South) pending his sister lives schizoid. They are twins, but the North took when he left the amniotic fluid uterus and was stupid. She spent her childhood and now using guns, who lives alone, is capable of anything.
U.S., retrasadito 17, the monitors a lot, not fear, but because he wants to take away their guns.
Israel is an intellectual of 62 years who had a shitty life. A few years ago, Germany, the truck driver did not see him and took him ahead. Since that day Israel was crazy. Now, instead of reading books, it happens in the balcony throwing stones at Palestinian, a girl who is washing clothes in the house next door.
Iran and Iraq were two of 16 cousins \u200b\u200bstealing bikes and selling the parts, until one day I stole a spare The U.S. scooter and they ran the business. Now they are eating snot.
The world was fine as well, until one day Russia joined (unmarried) with the Perestroika and had as a dozen and a half children. All rare, some Mongols, other schizophrenics.
A week ago, thanks to a mess with bullets and killed, serious people in the world discovered that there is a country called Kabardino-Balkaria. A country with a flag, president, Anthem, flora, fauna ... and even people!
It makes me a bit of fear that countries appear young and suddenly. Side that we know and even have to put a face to already knew, not to be as ignorant, I wonder: Why
countries continue to be born, if there is still not working?
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